Yes, thats right, I am gone all so very high and mighty today because I got off my fat arse this Easter Sunday and went to mass.
I still don’t know what processed me?! That’s Christmas and now Easter. Woo! Go me.
Honestly, I’m kidding about the praise. I’m just a little shocked I went because I’ve such an aversion to mass in my local. For numerous reasons, actually.
1. I’m lazy. Simple as that!
2. Our priest is the biggest blower, and if it weren’t Easter Sunday, and if he weren’t a priest I would call him something worse. He was the priest that did my brothers funeral mass. Did he have to go on, and on, and on, and ON about what a sinner Sean was? How his soul would, know doubt, be burning now if it weren’t for all the prayers we were to be saying. Sean was no angel but how many sins could a 17 year old have that would send him to the fiery pits of hell?
Then this same idiot priest continuously gets some bit of detail wrong which time we get a mass said for Sean. No, his sister is not called Dona. The mass is for Sean! Not John. It’s an anniversary mass, not his birthday remembrance. No, its his birthday remembrance, not his anniversary. Idiot or just slow? All I know is he isn’t slow whipping the money for said masses, off my mam.
3. The smell. It’s Easter, make a damn effort to wash yourself, people!
4. If I wanted to be surrounded by so many damn whiny kids I would work in a creche.
Still…it’s not all bad. The corpse twins (the name given to them after appearing on the X-Factor) gave a particularly painful version of a song which earned a loud “Jesus Christ” from the guy behind me. Suffice to say, I snorted out loud.